I write it. You read it. It gets your daughter pregnant.

Oct 26, 2013

Does your craft beer addiction make you an alcoholic?



So, does your regular craft beer habit make you an alcoholic?

Sep 4, 2010

Not Blood, Paint

While my wife Jenni was in Detroit Thursday she managed to get some fantastic fucking shots of the band Not Blood, Paint. They hail from New York and are what I would consider "fucking brilliant." Their stage antics and fancy dress couple perfectly with their strange brand of rock and/or roll.


More shots and a video after the jump!

Aug 5, 2010

Some Home Made Lulz

Here is a short list of bullshit that I've made over the past few years. These are by no means impressive but I clearly thought they were hilarious or awesome...or awesomehilarious...enough to post on here. And wow, they are all OLD! The most recent of these was made no sooner than 2 years ago!

Behold, my GODLIKE PShop skillzez!!!

Jan 5, 2010

BLOGertronic is not spelled wrong...if you were wondering (and you were)

Ok, I know that the "accurate" spelling of BLOGertronic would be "bloggertronic", with two Gs, but I don't care. BLOGertronic exists because of a forum site and a brand that my wife and I started years ago called Bargertronic. The accompanying blog for the forums was called Blogertronic. I spent most of two weeks working on that damn banner, hopping into photoshop and tweaking this, fixing that. After all was said and done, the project was no more. I let the whole thing go, domain and all. Until recently that is.

A few days ago I got a hair up my ass and wanted to start a blog, so I though, "what better time to resurrect my old blog?" This time though, I decided to go the easy route and use Blogger. Now I don't have to mess with hosting and the whole slew of coding and web installation problems and accompany doing everything myself. Now I get to just concentrate on blogging. :)

More shit after the jump...

Hey John Travolta, hows about you SUCK IT!

So, John Travolta is starring in an upcoming film bastardly titled "From Paris with Love". You see what they did thar? Well, if you don't, it's a rip from the title of the James Bond movie and book From Russian with Love. I view this movie, loosely compared to the James Bond projects (there are spys), as a complete insult to the Bond franchise. My key reasons are as follows:
  • John Travolta
  • John Travolta failing to use foul language naturally
  • Lame characters
  • Lame story
  • Lame acting
  • John Travolta's head
  • John Travolta's face
  • John Travolta's connection with this project in any way
Now, I'm reluctantly including the trailer for this film below.

A joke from Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

I was burning through Timequake today and picked up this gem. I also found out that Geekologie just posted this in December, but I don't care. It's an awesomely lame joke.
"There was a fugitive who sought shelter in the home of a woman he knew. Her living room had a cathedral ceiling, which is to say it went all the way up to the roof peak, with rustic rafters spanning the air space below.
She was a widow, and he stripped himself naked while she went to fetch some of her husband's clothes. But before he could put them on, the police were hammering on the front door with their billy clubs. So the fugitive hid on the top of a rafter. When the woman let in the police, though, his oversize testicles hung down in full view.
The police asked the woman where the guy was. The woman said she didn't know what guy they were talking about. One of the cops saw the testicles hanging down from a rafter and asked what they were. She said they were Chinese temple bells. He believed her. He said he'd always wanted to hear Chinese temple bells.
He gave them a whack with his billy club, but there was no sound. So he hit them again, a lot harder, a whole lot harder. Do you know what the guy on the rafter shrieked?
He shrieked, TING-A-LING, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Jan 3, 2010

So, God just sent me an E-Mail...

Dear Tony,

   As you well know, it has always been my unfortunate duty to issue bad news to all of my creations. And Tony, I have always liked you. I've reached out and personally intervened in your times of hardship before and given you hope and the tools needed to lift yourself out of despondency. It has been my joy in the past to do these things. But now, even though you and your family show promise and good will, it has become your time to be shit on.